Just another day.....

Sat. nite

Another thing that has been messing with me lately is my energy level. I can go for quite a while, but at a greatly reduced rate. Or I can go like heck for 10 minutes and almost fall over getting inside to sit down. The problem is I never know how long I may last so I don't know which project I might want to attempt. I've always been a procrastinator and this certainly isn't helping. I try very hard not to make excuses for myself and not to let myself take too much of the slack everyone seems to want to give. Not that I don't appreciate it because some of the slack I do need.

On another note we're watching recorded TV tonight. We got into the habit of recording shows a long time ago since we were on the road an average 5 1/2 days of the week and it left little time to watch when the shows were actually on. Of course now that we could actually watch a show when it was on, they're all reruns. At camp we have whatever comes in over the air.

Back at camp now. Today about wore me out. Why? I don't know. I only know that after I got a shower my energy level was at an all time low and has been all day long.

Mon. morn.

Got to the hospital about 8:30 or so and went up to the clinic where they install the PICC lines. That took a lot longer than I had thought. It was a relatively painless procedure, the only real pain being when she injected the Lidocaine to numb the area. After they finished I had to go get an X-ray to make sure it was in the right area. And as it was she had to pull it out 3 cm. With someone as tall as I am she said it's hard to be exacting as to placement. But after it was all over they flushed the line and drew labs. And I must say it was much easier. They just plug in and they're done.

But today was not all good news. I had noticed today a couple of places on my arm that were red and swollen and tender to the touch. I mentioned it to several people and when I told the PA she sent me up to ultrasound to have it looked at. After they squirted warm KY all over my right arm the tech started probing me with the thing and poking and prodding till I was about to wonder what she was looking for. As it happened she found what the PA didn't really want her to find. DVT, or Deep Vein Thrombosis. It is a small blood clot that forms in some cancer patients. The treatment is daily injections of Heparin that I have to give to myself. Oh joy, joy, joy. It's not bad enough that I'm going through this, but now I have to shoot myself every day. And oh yeah, I have to give myself these shots in the stomach. This will go on for up to 6 months.

And when I weighed myself today I had lost 3 more lbs. for an all time low of 203. I haven't weighed that in 20 years or so.

Tomorrow will be a much easier day. It's what I call a regular day, because Teresa drops me off, I get my treatment and head back out. Usually 20-25 minutes.

Tue. morn.

Another morning of waking up feeling like I'm blowing dust out when I breathe out. My throat is unbelievably dry. The PICC line went in my left arm yesterday and as the day progressed it was hurting a bit. For a while I was afraid it was going to hurt all of the time, but it finally settled down and today it's not too bad. I'm hoping that in another day or so I won't even know it's there. The DVT had me worried a bit after the PA explained it all, but later she assures me it will all be fine. Evidently we caught it all in time. Credit goes to Teresa though because I would have let it go for several days before I said anything. Not because I'm such a super human being but more because the older I get the more I seem to have things like this pop up and then go away a few days later.

Well gonna put it up fer y'all. See ya on the cloud.

End of week report

 Not a lot of news this time so I'll just get on with it.

Thur. Morn.

Up 3 times last night to pee. That's one of the things nobody talks about until you ask about it. Right after chemo and for about 3-4 days you will be up every 2-3 hours to pee. During the day you really don't think about it that much, but at night It gets a little irritating. Thankfully this week is almost over and I'll get a chance to recover.

Aft.

They've decided to change my chemo due to what the current stuff is doing to my kidneys. My creatinine level is way higher than it should be. This seems to be the thing that concerns them the most. I'll start the new stuff Monday. I am also going to have a PIC line put in Monday. I asked about it today and it's a day surgery procedure so I'm lined up for that Monday morning. That will eliminate ANY more needle sticks till this mess is over. It is a day surgery though, so it's not to be taken lightly. But ALL of the draws and all of the infusions will go through one port. ( Update ) I have since talked to a fellow patient who has just had a PIC line installed and he said there was nothing to it. Whew !! I was glad to hear that. It seems lately that everything is a simple procedure until its my turn. He also reports that it's no big deal getting chemo or labs, mostly you just have to show up for them to plug you in.

And now on a very good note the lump in my neck has gone down visibly and is about half the size it was when we started. The actual treatment began March 21^st, that's 25 days ago as I write this. The staff of the VA as a whole ( DDS excluded ) has been a great, focused and caring group of people. Chemo is a team of people, usually 3 RNs and a PA with a pharmacist working closely with them all. They work together in a room just big enough for 12 chairs with the ability to get a wheelchair in between, barely. Today I had to get restuck and given a bag of saline on an infusion pump and told I was going to have to go out in the waiting area, find a wall plug near a seat, plug it in and sit down and come back when it's empty. As I left someone else came in and sat down where I just was. And that's how it was in there all afternoon. When I checked out I did it standing up. They unplugged me, wrapped up my infusion line and the pharmacist walked us back to the pharmacy to make sure that we got the right meds. Someone in that organization needs to take a hard look at who is doing the work AND where they are having to do it. There are plenty of office space downstairs that could be used to much better ends. As it is both chemo and heart patients must wait in a common area that holds over 200 people of all ages and health levels. Two of the most affected types of people due to their lowered immune status and you're putting them in that brew. I really would like to believe that if someone actually thought about it they would act very quickly to fix this. And if you are reading this and you can do something about this I can show you the areas to convert. Chemo needs more help and more chairs, but first they need more space. Please take notice that I am not making a blanket statement about huge problem areas, because I only know of one. The nurses always apologize when they hurt you even though there's nothing anyone could have done any different to keep it from hurting.

Fri.

Up 4 times last night. After the first one I moved to sleep on the couch so as not to disturb Teresa quite as much. That should be the last night for that kind of thing. At home I don't bother her as much when I get up because I don't have to crawl over her to get out and the bed doesn't wiggle to wake her. Last night was the 3rd night since chemo and the kidney wash generally settles down after that.

P.J. *

P.J.* Means Puddle Jumping. If you go back far enough in the blog you'll find that it means I'm completely changing the subject and this is the only warning you're going to get.

Mid week report

   Make note that the title is not in caps, just the first word as my Granmother English teacher dictated, as this is not a board meeting and I don't even know what a Power Point is anyway. I've seen some graphs and pie charts on something and those are pretty cool, but I'm not sure if even one of the Dummies books would cover Pie Charting Your Blog By Interests. Now see that would be worth capitalizing. OK, enough intro, on with the show.... er.... report .

   Mon night

   Earlier today we put both medicine and a can of formula in the PEG tube. It doesn't taste all that good and I was pretty sure the PA had said or intimated that I might want to down that without slowing to taste it. Hmmmm. Yeah, I remember some stuff called Creomulsion. It tasted like someone had cut a chunk of wood out of either a fresh cross tie or telephone pole. Then it had been boiled and the remaining gravy was put in a bottle and called cough medicine. Of course if you were a kid you learned if they ever pulled out that vile elixir you better want to quit coughing. Later on in life while I was in the Army they decided to change the flavor of Robitussin to a nasty orange syrup because they found out it could be abused. This stuff was called Terpin Hydrate and evidently it was so good at stopping your cough that they discontinued it's production. Again I digress. So we put the formula etc. down the direct line and I hung around a bit to give it time to settle and finally went up to the office to post.

Tomorrow I have to be there early for chemo but at a reduced dosage. And yes I'm losing hair. Not at a really fast rate but it's noticeable and it's coming from everywhere. Arms, legs, head. Thankfully I'm not a really hairy guy, but I do enjoy my full head of hair. Evidently not for long though. It's enough that I put a strainer in the shower to catch all the runaways. And everyday my brush shows me more of what I used to have. Gee, I just can't wait to go through another round of this.

I've quit putting sugar in my coffee since I can no longer taste it. About the only thing with sugar in it that I can taste is ice cream. However sugar no longer tells my stomach I don't need anything either. I can finish a bowl of ice cream and 10 minutes later I'm ready for another one. Pepper on the other hand I can still taste and I find myself dosing things up with it that I probably never would have thought of before. So the thing you do is blackeyed peas and boiled okra with a small can of chiles and maybe a can of Rotel. Add black pepper to taste. The theme is Tex-Mex Jumbalaya. After you get through and your throat is sufficiently warmed you bring in the cool down portion of the meal is molten fudge covered in deep chocolate ice cream which is covered in butterscotch or caramel sauce with either some irish crème whiskey or crème de menthe liqueur. Start in the middle and eat your way out. It really does work best. I've tried it all ways. Believe me, after they pulled my teeth, I've been a bit more nice to myself that way. Can't hurt my teeth and the nutritionist said to put the calories on any way I can. Win,Win. Dreams like this get me through the days because I know that I really don't have to wait anymore than a week for just about anything I might think of. And Teresa has put up with everything within reason that I have asked for.

A quick word about needles. It seems that there are two types of IV sticks. Those that go in so easy that you're not really sure if it's in there or not until you see them hook up the line. Then there is the type that feels like they are shoving a rusty nail in your arm. Those are the ones that you pray that they got it in right. I'm slowly learning sites on my arm that are easy to hit and not as painful. And then there are the sites that everybody else wants to use. Now when I go to lab it's a total crap shoot as to whether it's going to be easy or not. I have learned that I can ask for certain persons to do the sticking. Again a total crap shoot as to whether I get them or not. Usually though the draws are easier than the IVs.

   Chemo started if not with a bang then surely a whimper. After the needle went in (oouucchhh) they started with a liter of saline. Then when they added some anti nausea medicine that I had a reaction with in about 2 minutes. After several shouts of “Hey” someone came over to see what was wrong. I was feeling quite dizzy and about ready to hurl. They got me a bucket, a cool wet washcloth, and immediately stopped the meds. One nurse offered the observation that my face was quite red. After about 20 minutes I had recovered enough to be able to walk over to radiation. Thankfully Teresa was there to walk with me because I was still a little shaky and I wanted someone I knew to be with me if I stumbled. The next trick was to get my shirt over the IV line to be able to lay down and get into position for treatment. After that it was back to chemo to finish that off. I was back by 10:00 and finally out by 1:30. They finally allowed me to keep the infusion line in place for the night since I am supposed to get more saline for the next two days to help wash out the chemo. ?????????? Uuummm, Why not just less of the poison and so less need to wash it out.

Back at camp and kicking back. Slept through a lot of chemo. I have learned that I should always get a pillow if I'm getting any kind of infusion and if I'm going to be longer than 1 bag ( 1 liter ) I should always get a blanket. I can check in with chemo and when they take my vitals my temperature is normally between 97.4 and 98.4. I would swear that after about an hour and a half, about as long as a bag takes, my body temperature will have dropped by 4-5 degrees. It's just about then that a shudder will hit and I have to ask for a blanket. More of that personal thermostat craziness. I've eaten as well as I could this afternoon and the most strenuous thing I have done today is to open up an outside chair to sit in the sun. For the next week I'll be taking it easy while taking my nausea meds, post chemo meds, pain meds, and still trying to keep my caloric intake up. Now I've gotten to realize that my best shot at being able to consume more calories is to follow the chocolate covered road to sugar and carbs. Cake, fudge, cheesecake, ice cream and all kinds of sauces, butterscotch, chocolate, caramel, and so forth.

   Wed morn

   Not a terrible night for the first night after chemo but I wound up getting up early due to hiccups. Not bad ones but enough to make sleep close to impossible. You're never really sure if it's a hiccup or getting ready to hurl. So it's up early and a nap later while they put in a liter of saline.

    Aft.

   Well a nap was not to be. Chemo was busy to the point of almost needing an appointment for a chair. There are only about a dozen chairs and barely enough room to get the chairs and all of the infusion pumps etc. and still have enough room to walk. Each chair is a recliner and has it's own TV assigned to it. They are really understaffed and in an undersized area. But they do an amazing job for what (and who) they have to work with. They have to keep up with every patient and their individual treatments and although they have a desk they are rarely able to sit down much longer than it takes to log the patient info into the computer. The average number of nurses there is 3 although it can still function with only 2, but just barely. By the time they log info an alarm (or several) has gone off and they have to go see who or what needs attention.

Time to see if I can get my wifi cloud skyhook out and see if we can still communicate.

And Judy, your subject may bring out the long repressed preacher in me so I'm gonna hafta be keerful or I might scare the hell out of some of my truckin' friends. Not to worry though, maybe with a pinch of humor we might be able to do it without too many heart attacks on the way. The older I get the fewer old friends and acquaintances I have. So I suppose I need to protect the ones I have

 

If wishes were horses

My last post got me to thinking ( heaven forbid ) about wishes and dreams. My dreams have never been huge. I want to build my own house. I have had to give that dream over to just being the GC on my own construction site. But then again I've had to give over a lot of things here of late. I was half way through my first house when the now ex wife ran off with the building fund and another guy. I finally got it back several years later because she never paid the taxes or dues. I'm not quite finished with the “Little House” on the north forty. That has been a dream of mine since we first started talking about it. It's 24' x24' two story, 1 ½ bath open concept house. Kitchen, pantry, closets, ½ bath, and water heater closet complete the first floor with steps going to the second floor in one corner. On the second floor directly above the ½ bath below is a full bath. Next to that is a door to steps and a landing. And other than that it's just open. It's funny how big it looked when we laid it out in string, and then after the first week when we had the floor completed. Then we started putting walls up and all of a sudden it wasn't so big anymore. It regained the feel for a bit when we laid the second floor before we stood any walls there. You could look out up there, one floor up and look around and see a good ways out. At any rate it's way past dried in and we just lack finishing insulation, drywall, a few electrical runs for ceiling fans and such and paint inside and out. Here is a link to the building of the little house : https://www.flickr.com/photos/90376472@N06 if you're interested. Then when we sell the Granbury place hopefully we will come away with some seed money to build the main house which will be around 2400 sq. ft. See I told you my dreams aren't something out of touch with reality. Of course I also want about a 2400 sq. ft. shop with woodworking stuff on one side or one end and mechanical stuff on the other. There is always something to work on mechanically around there and the woodworking is simply for the fun of it. I want to build furniture. I have several designs that no one else has and I think they would sell if I had some to display and to take pictures of to put on the internet.

Other things I dream of are fairly predictable. A boat, 34-36' long, 9 to 9 ½ beam, single engine, twin screw, able to sleep 4 comfortably and wired for hotel load. And an eager buyer for the Granbury house that's excited to own it.

There is another dream I have. I believe it's one that almost every parent might have is that your children grow and move on in the world and if they don't take the world by storm then that they're happy, healthy and comfortable. I recently had to read the riot act to my youngest to move his tail off of center on something. It pained me more to have to raise hell with him because I should be past that in my life right now. I see parents all around us that still have their children living with them in their late 30's. I suppose every generation of parents have these types of thoughts.

My personal thermostat has gone haywire again. I went through several months of it about the time that I found out about the cancer. I actually thought it was the remnants of a bad cold I got while I was in Alaska. We got a hotel while we were there with the reason being in no small part to how sick I was. My temperature was way up and the only time I felt warm was when I was in the tub with hot water running almost all of the time. For most of the next week I was in cold weather and never really felt warm for very long. This was also the time that the cancer was starting to grow. The thermostat thing might be related, I don't know. What I do know is people look at you a little funny when it's 80 degrees out and you have a sweater on or when it's 60 out and you're sweating. And it's just mildly bothersome but I just never really know what to dress for. It had left me alone for a month and a half so I thought I was over it. I guess it was just on vacation.

Another thing that's going on is my nose runs an awful lot. I always have to carry a tissue or something. And if I blow my nose, very little comes out. It's just cold and it runs. Not a lot, just enough to be slightly embarrassing and a drag. And again I never know when it will happen. It's just as likely at 80 as it is at 50.

Sun night

Back at camp. We got in late due to rain. We wanted to load our stuff without the benefit of extra moisture. Keeping your laundry, computers, paperwork, and bread and so forth relatively dry seems to outweigh the need to get back. I actually got to drive tonight. OK, it's because it was dark and rainy and she has night blindness. Guess how long that took to find out ? About 3 years. Actually it was easier on both of us since we both would have been on pins and needles for the whole trip. Thankfully no one did anything extremely stupid tonight and nothing took me off guard. I was going to try to post tonight, but the rain has the signal soaked up and I don't feel like tromping through the rain and mud to get to the office area where I can get a good signal. I have chemo tomorrow and I'm getting rested up. This next week will tell me if I am going to get a PIC line. About the 3^rd needle will be my clue. The last bag of saline bruised my arm. That was a week ago and it's still there.

Mon

Got to VA early to get labs done so as to be ready for chemo. My number was 749 and they were on 728. Better I thought until the lab got backed up and they quit taking numbers for about 20 minutes. By the time I got through it was time to go to radiation. Went there and came back, waited an hour, went to chemo and the PA started talking about changing my chemo because my creatinine level was too high. I'm thinking yea, the other stuff she was talking about had some drawbacks, but nowhere near what cisplatin has. Then the powers that be ( her Dr. bosses ) decided that we would carry on with the current regimen but at a slightly lowered level. Then they decided that today I would be starting too late so they rescheduled for tomorrow.

  Well I'm gonna send this one off to the ether. I'm sure I will come up with something for later. Judy, hang in there. I'm letting that one boil for a bit to make sure I get it right.

This week in the news ( not much really )

Sun nite

Well one would think that after this past week of messing with this computer that I would have learned just a little more about loading this software. But no, I'm still a dunderhead. We stopped at Fry's on the way back to camp to actually purchase a copy of Windows. Evidently the copy of 7 that I had was not genuine and after 10-12 hours it was giving me fits. I was in such a hurry to get it loaded that I forgot to engage the part of my brain that says " Might wanna do a backup." So this portion of the show is brought to you by Wordpad.

Tomorrow is a lab day so it starts early and runs through mid afternoon, if I'm lucky. Hopefully I'll be up early enough to get something for breakfast before we go. We always have some of those crackers with either cheese or peanut butter on them. Those are our emergency food that we carry almost everywhere. But with the dry mouth that I'm experiencing now I would need a quart of fluid to wash it down.

And now a word about living in a travel trailer. Our good friends lent us this trailer so that we could be within 14 miles of the hospital instead of 75. Now you might think that after living in a truck for all of these years that a travel trailer would be an upgrade and in most circumstances you would be right. There's an on board bathroom, several beds to choose from, a kitchen, and a couch. And if you are a normal sized person you would be right. But don't forget I am 6'9" which is the ceiling height in this trailer and while the lights in here have not really taken a beating then certainly my head has. In the truck the ceiling height is over 8' and the only time I hit my head on anything is if I left a door open on a storage compartment. And while we're talking about my head, while I was on my 48 hour pass I built some steps and a landing to take the place of the fold out steps that come with the trailer. Teresa wanted steps with a handrail so I built them to go just below the door. Very nice if you are somewhere close to normal size but I have learned that now I have to duck even more than before to be able to keep my scalp intact. It seems that the door sill around these things is made of very sharp metal and the actual height of the door is around 6 foot. So if I duck for a normal door I'm still way too tall for this one. And thankfully there is a public restroom that rivals a lot of nickel a gallon over wholesale truck stops, because the bathroom in here is designed for someone around 5'6” and 100 lbs. If I were ever to get set down in there I would need a trapeze to get out.

I mentioned beds. There is only one bed that will fit two people comfortably. It is what a mattress manufacturer might call a short queen. Which means that either my feet would hang off almost a foot or I have to sleep in a fetal position. But after a quick study of the situation I put a 4 x 4 foot piece of plywood under the mattress and extended the sleep area by a little over a foot. I then added enough blankets on top of that to bring it to the level of the mattress. Now I can stretch out full length. The only drawback is that instead of walking around the bed to get in I must crawl over it.  When the cat will let me. Thanks Shadow, really appreciate you taking up my footspace once again. She can't do that at home because sometime in the night I'll stretch out and send her onto the floor.

Late Mon. Nite

Today was what I call a pincushion day. Got to the lab a little after 8:00. The seating which holds around 150 was already almost full. I took my number which was 576. They were serving number 480. Hmmm. I'm beginning to see a pattern here. I was done with labs around 9:00 and went on to radiation. Finished up there and went back to chemo to wait for labs to come back. 11:20 and the chemo PA said I was going to have to stick around for them to top me off with saline. So I was stuck twice today, both times relatively painless, but after they disconnected the saline line I was a bit surprised after about 20 minutes to find my wrap ( they put one on every time they stick you ) damp and red. It was a combination of saline and blood and the first time I've ever have had that happen. I've since developed an ugly bruise.  Now it's not that I'm getting needle shy, it's just that they're having a harder time hitting a vein and so, more misses. I've always said that I would be the worlds worst junkie because I absolutely can not stand shots or needles in any form. However I realize they're quite necessary for my continued success in staying above ground.

Tue.

Well after another 6 hours or so I once again have a working laptop and I even found most of my old programs. I spent a couple of hours on the wifi letting this thing do updates ( well over 200 ) until the low battery indicator said I was out of juice. Then came back to the trailer to recharge and finish letting the updates install. That was around 6:00. At about 1:00 AM it had finally finished. I enjoy working on computers but I must admit installing software is not something I'm very fond of. Especially 3^rd party stuff that is really handy but you have to be extremely careful or it will install some toolbar or PC cleaner or some other garbageware that not only do I have no use for but it's a damned nuisance. Yes I understand it's the price of free, but I would just as soon pay a nominal price for the same software and be free of this headache. Please notice that I said nominal. If Macs were a little cheaper ( the reason they cost more is the support is great ) I probably would go with one because their software upgrades are around       $ 40 instead of the over $ 100 that Microsoft seems to think that theirs is worth. Not to mention that every new OS that Microsoft puts out doesn't seem to work with previous versions of other software that they have. Office? Nope sorry you're going to have to lay out another $ 100 for that. So now I've gone with Open Office from openoffice.org. All of the programs in this office suite are totally compatible with Office, Word, Works, etc. And it's FREE. It has nearly every feature that the others have although I'm not really a power user so I'm not the one to vet this type of stuff. After all I could do this stuff on Wordpad or Notepad. In case you haven't guessed I've been busy on this machine pretty much all day. Some of the time I was even writing. And yes I will very soon have a backup for this. My only problems with backups are that A: you have to have a minimum of 3 copies to be sure you have it and B: you have to keep all of your backups relatively current and C: to get a true backup of your drive you need a program that is just geeky enough that it usually takes a couple of very frustrating hours trying to decipher just what you are trying to do. Now some people would say I have some geeky tendencies since I still have all of those machines in storage somewhere and I still work at DOS level on even this one even though DOS has been greatly changed since they supposedly discontinued it after Win 98. But there is a huge difference between my level of geek and being able to figure out what the programmer had in mind. Which is a bit like me trying to figure out what one of these college edjumacated brainiac traffic engineers were thinking when I come upon some of these highway intersections ( Atlanta ) or something as simple as a parking lot that has incoming traffic headed into parking that is going the wrong way. Aaauuggghhhh.  Sombody give me a stick to beat something with. But I digress. The latest software no longer comes with manuals ( yes I read directions when I have them ) and if it has one at all it will be on the internet. Hmmm. Question: what if I don't have access to the internet ? Their answer: go find someplace where you do and print it out. I see, so I now have to run to Kinko's or some such and print out a manual AND pay for it. Well gee, where do I go to sign up for more of this lunacy ?

Well I'm gonna see if I can get this posted for a midweek. 

Wed nite

Just tried to post and it seems to have forgotten who I am. My fall back is the home machine which is what I used to put up the last one.

Thur. Aft.

You may wonder what it is I do all day. I write, as long as as I can think of something to write about, play a lot of solitaire, and when the weather allows I get outside and drink in some vitamin D from the sun. I also work on computers that I have taken in to rework to give to charities and such. For the most part all I have to do is reload the original software and make sure that it all works as expected. Sometimes it requires that I do research on certain pieces of software to find out if it's good, bad, or indifferent such as if the file is required, it's malware, or it was just an installation file and can be deleted. The main thing I watch for is to make sure that all of the donors files are completely removed. I have found all manner of files that people had no idea were on there. Usually it's just pictures and such but I have found password files and other sensitive files. When I'm sure I'm done then I'll run a file on the unused portion of the hard drive that writes 0's and 1's on it a number of times to be sure there is nothing left that could be used to fuel the resident evil that lives in the cloud. Today I have been working on a machine that my brother gave me. I've been using it for almost two weeks and was about to come to the conclusion that the only thing really wrong with it was that it was running Vista. When I booted it this afternoon it came up with an error that said logon failed. Which was strange because it had no logon. After you booted it and it was ready to go to work you were looking at the desktop. So I fired it up in safe mode, got some files off of it and then flipped the software switch that sent it back to the day it was born. Now I'll leave it running all night long and check it in the morning to see what's up. I'll take it home tomorrow and bring the other one out Sunday. I have more utilities at home that will finish looking at the hard drive to make sure it doesn't have any problems. Then I have the fun part of finding a worthy organization. And for good or bad there are plenty of worthies.

We had to go to an RV sales and service place today simply because it was the closest place to fill a propane tank. When we finished that we looked around at some of the used units and of course we found one we thought was a great deal and when we get back to work I will be hard pressed to not buy one like we saw, 34' and 8' ceilings in most of it. It started with 2 large slide outs. Wrap around couch (that makes a bed ) 2 recliners, a dining table with chairs, a kitchen that you wouldn't have to turn sideways to pass each other in, an audio/video console, and when you went into the master it had a full queen bed, a standard shower, and a separate potty room with a wood door and not a plastic sliding accordion for a door. And I'm sure Teresa will say “ We don't go camping ! “ to which I will reply “ Well, we may have to start “. Goofing around we found another one on the internet about 60 miles from here that's 2' longer and has a washer/dryer for an extra $ 500. The one here was $ 11,000. It looks like RV prices are falling in line with used truck prices.  Oh well, a boy can dream. I'm afraid I would be one of those people that if I were to win the lottery I would be saying you won't see my big self around here any more. I would definitely get  an RV of some form or fashion and cruise the country and when I finished that I would go to Europe. You might think with me driving all over North America I would be happy with that. One problem is you drive to and from but rarely do you stay and visit. Another is you have to play the lottery to win and I can find way more productive ways to spend my money. Like on tools. ( Sounds of cave man grunts a la Tim Allen )

  Hey Dana, put a hold on that thing for me.

Sending this to the web, I'll see you on the cloud.

P.S. If any body wants an opinion or just a topic covered drop me a line. Opinions are like noses and elbows, everybody has one or two. I might even write about it. And a hint. I tend to update the latest blog for several hours after they're posted

Apologies dear friends

 My apologies for not posting sooner and as you will see in a bit this post was created on 3 different machines. Watch for the margin jumps.

Sun. nite

Back at camp and unpacked. Making notes on the iPad because both of our laptops have gone south. Teresa’s had a power cord malfunction. The tiny little pin inside it separated from the part that you plug the cord into. Mine had a software update malfunction that corrupted the hard drive. Finally this afternoon I loaded a recovery disk that breathed enough life into it for me to see that it has the ability to recover. Kinda like me now, it’s on the road, but there’s still a long haul.

Mon. nite

Well today didn’t start off so bad. The end was quite a different story. Radiation starts almost every day at 9:45. Then it’s off to see other clinics or whatever. My weekly schedule now is radiation Mon. – Fri. at 9:45, chemo PA (Physician's Assistant ) Mon. after radiation, and radiation Dr. Fri. morning after treatment. So Mon. and Fri. are long days.

Went to see the chemo people after treatment and they said they needed labs. That’s code for a blood draw. I have since learned that I need to be there an hour or so early to go to lab before I go to radiation which will cut down on the oncoming wait times. Some days seem to be clinic days where the system is swamped and some days not so much. We just have to figure out what that schedule is to be able to possibly adjust ours. Or at least know what we’re walking into. Headed to the lab where they have a take a number machine. My number was 362. They were serving number 280. That took an hour to get my number up. Two minutes for paperwork, walk 30 feet to the lab, 2 minutes to draw blood, and then back to chemo to wait on labs. Labs took another 2 ½ hours. In the meantime Teresa asked if I wanted some Sprite. I said sure so she got one from the machine. After three or four sips I let out a huge burp and then the rest of it came up. And then some. I barely made it to the restroom where I finished. The only thing I had thrown up was Sprite and saliva. I hadn’t eaten that morning so that’s all there was. An hour or so later we finally got in to see the PA. She was busy asking how I was doing and Teresa was answering. Meanwhile she shut the door and the air in the room got very still. That set it off again. All I had was saliva and then dry heaves. She immediately sent me back to the infusion room to have fluids and some liquid anti nausea stuff pumped in. While that was going on she told Teresa that she was bumping my nausea meds and adding an appetite stimulant. A live demonstration usually has that type of effect. The ride home was exhausting and we both almost collapsed when we came in the door.

Tuesday started much better. Teresa dropped me off and I went in and got my treatment. I texted her to come get me and she said she was on her way. Except for traffic, today was actually pretty good. Teresa said she spent 15 minutes trying to find a place to park and ended up in the north 40 that we had never been too. She almost got lost coming back to pick me up. Thought I was going to have to send out a search party. After a good talking to by both the PA and the nutritionist I figured I had better try to eat. Teresa was on me all day and managed to get a full can of formula in. We put in half a can, flushed, waited 40 minutes or so, and then repeated the process. In the meantime today I’ve had potato soup, pudding, ice cream and cake, sausage balls, tea, ginger ale, and finally apple juice. That wasn’t all, but nearly so. It’s not that I was that hungry, but I was determined not to make a habit of that darned feeding tube. And any of you that actually know me will know that darned is way, way too tame a word by 10. This thing that comes through my stomach and abdomen just below my sternum is the lifeline that I know will probably eventually save my life. Doctors are funny that way, if it’s a relatively simple procedure and can save a life, let’s do it. And truthfully I haven’t seen any evidence of  refusing or disreputable care. Someone is always cleaning with the biggest part of the public areas being reserved for an after hours time slot. I watched a two man crew cleaning air ducts at 7:20 in the morning and they were waiting on 8:00 so they could punch out.

 I’m writing on a desktop that I breathed a small amount of life into. NBC nightly news tonight was ranting on about how XP could be your ruination for your computer and your only hope was to buy another with Windows 8 on it. The story was probably released by Microsoft to generate sales. Here’s what they won’t tell you, as long as you keep a decent firewall on board, you’ll be alright. And if you do like I’m doing now, typing on a machine that can’t even see the internet, have absolutely no fear. It’s not going to sit and fester in your garage and suddenly go bring in the Decepticons. Seriously though, if you have an older machine sitting idle, give it to someone or some organization that could use it. Plan to spend an hour or so looking it over before you send it off making sure any personal files and pictures you may want to save. Or take the hard drive out of it and store it or smash it with a hammer and recycle it. Hard drives are cheap and a free OS like Ubuntu Linux is perfect for a donated machine. Ubuntu is so like Windows now that it’s doubtful that if you weren’t paying close attention now you would never know that you were on it. And depending on how generous you’re feeling with your time and pocketbook replace the hard drive or don’t. I just hate to see good machines going idle.

I am NOT asking you to give it to Goodwill. Goodwill is a FOR profit company and the owner makes a couple metric tons of money each year and spends very little on his employees. The American Red Cross is a much better solution where only 10 % of the money (and other donations ) donated to it goes to the employees payrolls. The storefront Santa’s are all volunteers. That job has to have a person that can somehow turn off the bell in their brain to be able to ring that for whatever the time period they do that. Whereas almost 100 % of donations sent to Goodwill go into one guy’s pockets. If you believe in karma and reincarnation this guy has a long, long, long way to go.

If you would rather not hear my opinions about things by all means comment on it. I probably won’t listen, but I won’t hold you up to public ridicule either. Believe me I know I need all the friends rooting for me that I can get. And I don’t change subjects so much as ramble on about whatever I’m talking about. As I write I have both eyes on the keyboard with an occasional glance to the screen to see where I missed a letter or somehow managed to get the cursor half a page away from where I was a second ago. That has gotten better with practice and identifying what keypresses it was that precluded the suspected WTF moment. I also tend to reread what I’ve written every time I stop writing and go back and interject things. That is the beauty of a word processing system over pen and paper or typewriter.

And now a word about smells. I really don’t know if it’s my quitting smoking, the chemo, or even possibly the radiation, but smells have really gotten to be a problem with me. When you walk into the Dallas VA there is a popcorn vending kiosk that is located in the hallway of the main entrance and you are forced to walk past to get to pretty much anything in the hospital. I’m not much on popcorn, but lately it’s about all I can do to hold down whatever I might have to get past it. Now popcorn isn’t the only smell that bothers me, but it’s something that is there almost every day. Other smells are car exhaust, peoples cologne, different food smells and really just too many to list. It’s irritating to me and totally unpredictable when it may affect me.

Smell is one of your senses that are supposed to keep you out of trouble. Yet now it’s causing me no end of trouble. And they had already told me that I would lose my taste with the radiation, I just wasn’t really expecting it to be so quick. Taste and smell are connected, you just don’t really expect it to be quite this way. I really love chocolate, yet a Hershey’s bar now tastes like so much sugar and lard. Yes there is still some cocoa flavor, it just ain’t as grand. I’m waiting to get some dark chocolate to see how that is. Smell and taste of food and foodstuffs has now gotten to where I can no longer smell the coffee or taste it. Nor can I tell if it has sugar in it or not. I wish I could find that mess Sgt. that so many years ago told me I didn't need to taste it.

   YUUCCKKK ALERT ( I have been told I need to put this in)

The Salmon story

Normally I love salmon, and I may have contributed to this unwittingly, but now the smell of almost any fish is enough to all but run me out of an area. The night that I had chemo I was still hungry and they had warned me about losing my appetite. Knowing that I liked salmon and that we had a can I figured why not. Teresa was letting me eat anything I could get down and so there wouldn’t be the normal teasing over what was going to happen to that can of salmon.( I threaten to eat almost every can that comes into the house. She threatens to not feed me the planned salmon croquettes. So I give in and shut up. ) So, I ate it all. Like the old commercial I ate the whole thing. I didn’t feel bad, but I was glad to be finished with it. The next morning was a different story. We were out the door and about to load into the truck when I stopped, steadied myself on the side of the trailer, and spit up a couple of tablespoons of mostly clear saliva. But it had a nasty fish taste to it. Radiation on your throat gives you mucositis which is a thickening of your mucous and saliva. Between the mucositis and spitting up that mess it’s all I can do to get the thought of it out of my head.

Wed
    Today was a much better day. We’ve gotten into a groove. Teresa dropped me off, I went in, checked in, had treatment, came out, texted Teresa and we were headed back. The whole thing takes a little more than an hour. Just as long as it’s not Mon. or Fri. My appetite is back up. That’s not to say that things are tasting better, just mostly I know I must eat. I’ve eaten a lot today and took a can of formula by tube.

Thur.

  Another great day in the neighborhood. Got up this morning at 7:30, a full hour before I had been getting up. Teresa made me coffee and then some Malt-O-Meal. It’s a hot morning cereal like cream of wheat, but with a slightly malted flavor. It’s the closest thing to grits I’ve ever had. My appetite is back and if not with a vengeance then at least it’s back. The ever present cotton mouth has arrived and I find I’m drinking a lot of ginger ale now. We left camp and arrived Dallas VA at 9:23. I checked in, got treatment, met T back in the truck and on our way out 9:46. That’s clockwork and it’s taken us till now to get it down to 23 minute days.

  Tomorrow won’t be so lucky because it’s a Dr. visit day. Your Dr. has weekly meetings with you and all of his patients. Face to face, for about 15 to 30 minute meetings. Since mine is a throat cancer he touches the area and assesses the knot as to size and solidity. He is expecting the mass to “ reduce dramatically “ in the next couple of weeks. Asked what that would mean to me is the difference between now and then with then being not being able to see it at all, even when standing close. The radiation Dr. has been in this for over 20 years. I have every confidence that whatever he says I need to do, I will.

  I can already see what tomorrow will be like
  Fri

  Got up early, had breakfast and went to the VA. Back at camp by 11:30. Packed the truck and finally made it back to Las Rio Casa by 1:30. Unload, check plants, and general condition of the place including what groceries we have. Mailbox outside and a run to the Post Office to pick up mail there. Let neighbors know we’re home and it’s not someone who looks like us but are really there to steal everything we have. In someone’s version we will have been kidnapped or abducted. Sit down and check the recordings on the TV. Then figure out what to do with this 48 hour pass. I quit smoking in Feb. after the tonsillectomy. Now with chemo I’m not supposed to drink either. I think a Baptist preacher got into the healing doctrine somewhere. I understand my liver and kidneys and every other filtering organ I have are filtering and flushing things through. I will testify. But I may have to start my chip stuff over this weekend.

  So that’s how Friday is going to go.

I’ll try to put something else in before post.

Fri. went much like that with very few differences. We had stopped at the Post Office on the way home, but got home by 1:30.

Well I'm gonna post this and hope and pray that the mailman will be nice today and bring my Windows 7 DVD like the nice man at the store said so I can breathe life into my laptop and once again have margins and so forth that I control.

One of my secrets to being able to get along on the information superhighway is to use software that is new enough to be usable, yet old enough for me to figure out what to do with the magic toolbar that some software developer decided to put in so he could upsell you this years model. I actually have somewhere in what one of my kids call my museum computers that still run Windows 3.11. Of course I also have a Commodore 64, an old Tandy RL 1000 (286), and a Mac that I haven't done much more than powered up to see that it does run, And somewhere in my old and crusty stuff I still have 2 286 based laptops. I'm still looking for a TRS-80, mostly because I have books of software for it, the kicker being it's great software but you have to type in the code yourself.

As far as software I have Windows 3.11, 98, and DOS 5.0 and 6.2. Word and Excel before it was office. So if anyone needs any of this let me know. I seem to be holding the keys to the kingdom of  " Where did that crap go anyway".

Till next time