Put your seatbelts on y’all, this one’s gonna be rough.

   Well, this is one I was hoping not to have to write. The last appointment I had with the VA wasn’t good news. I had three appointments that day, ENT, radiation and chemo. Chemo was set to be 1^st at 10:30, but due to overbooking after 2 ½ hours we had to go to the ENT appointment. Everything there was all clear, but they gave me the results of the latest CAT scan. However, they were vague about how to interpret it, so I went on to radiation for the next appointment. He too was vague about the exact meaning, but did confirm that the fact that the nodules in my lungs were cancer that had metastasized ( moved ) from the original site in my tonsils. He also said that they had tripled in size since the last scan three months ago and that current radiation treatment programs available through the VA were too destructive to lung tissue to be practical. Their beam can’t be focused tightly enough to be therapeutic without damaging a lot of surrounding area and thereby essentially destroying too much lung.  After we left there we went back to chemo where we waited another hour or so and finally got in. There we finally got the answer we didn’t want. Without treatment I would have a little over a year to live. The chemo Dr. said that with another round of chemo that I could have as much as five years. She asked if I wanted to do that and of course I said yes, so she put me on a schedule to be seen again for evaluation as to what type of chemo I would get this time. She did say that there were several spots ( no one has ever said exactly how many ) but only two had grown so much. The whole day a downer to be sure.

   We went home to start breaking the news to family and some close friends. Our friends that had bought me the teeth, Terri and Michael, called to ask what we were doing that weekend and we told them to come on up. I figured that they should probably know first since I still wasn’t really sure how I was going to break this to my family and I knew that they would be able to help me with the dialogue. As it turned out, Terri, who is a genius at research, found a program at MD Anderson in Houston that pioneered a program that a nationally known cancer center is now using. Their program involves a very tightly focused beam of radiation and possible chemo. The tighter focus on the beam allows it to kill the cancer with very little damage to surrounding areas.

   We’ve now gotten started on that and are just waiting on paperwork to go through for the doctors to review to see if I will qualify for their program. The biggest downside to this is that I will have to be in the Houston area for about two months while undergoing treatment.            However our friends have bought a 5^th wheel camper trailer that can be parked fairly close to MD. Without these two friends we would have been very nearly lost. 

   On top of all of this Teresa has had her surgery for her hiatal hernia, which went well, so we have had a lot on our plates lately. The timing of all of this together has been hard, but Terri has been able to stand off with a calm eye on the situation and an ability to figure out a way through all of this. Terri has started a gofundme account to help us manage our dwindling finances. The link to this is  www.gofundme.com/thankyoufriends . There is a short story to explain to those who aren’t familiar with what is going on. Any size donation is greatly appreciated. This part in particular is especially hard for me as I have never really needed much help before, but after being off of work for over a year and with only social security to rely on for income, things have gotten awfully tight. And as always your prayers are greatly appreciated.

   On a good note, I’m eating much better now, although I still am not gaining any weight. However, it did take me 30 years to get up to my pre-treatment weight so I’m not really surprised at that. Also Teresa’s brother and his wife are letting us stay with them due to her surgery and doctor being only five miles away from here. It’s also fairly close to where our friends are living that are helping out with the thing with MD Anderson.

   So far that’s the worst of it. There are a few more tests that the VA has in store and if MD falls through, the VA has another round of chemo up their sleeve. I really don’t want anyone to get all weepy about this, mainly because I’m not. It’s not that I think that I’m superman or that I’m in denial ( that’s in Egypt isn’t it ). It’s just that I refuse to let this get me down. This past summer when my strength was at it’s lowest, although I didn’t feel as good as the Energizer bunny, I still kept pushing on. Don’t worry, I’ll let everyone know when it’s time to invest in Kleenex stock.

   Now I’m going to put this out there. To all of my driver friends out there be safe. I don’t really miss the traffic, but I do miss all of you. To my friends at TTI, it’s the best job I’ve ever had and I miss y’all too. And since I don’t know any fat ladies, it ain’t over by a long shot.

See ya later PEG

    Just a quick note here before I get started. My computer crashed shortly after writing this and it's taken me this long to recover the files ( still haven't gotten the computer up ). I wound up having to remove the hard drive and transfer all of the files to another hard drive that I keep as a backup. And no, I hadn't had a chance to back it up just before it crashed. Mostly I'm letting everyone know so that in case I don't get this figured out it might be a while before I can post again. This is being done on a borrowed machine. That being said, on with the news.

2-25

   Wow, today was one for the record books. We were getting ready for two appointments this morning when the GI lab called to reschedule an appointment we had had to cancel Monday due to the weather. It had been nasty with ice covering everything, so rather than risking life and limb, we had called to cancel Monday. They actually had an opening today, so we just added that one to the pile. The weather this morning was rain and snow, and if you have ever had to travel through DFW traffic with this type of weather, you could appreciate the fact that we were a little apprehensive about driving 75 miles in that stuff. However, the first appointment wasn’t until 1:00, so we waited until 11:00 to leave. By then almost everything had melted and there wasn’t any problem with traffic.

   The first stop was the dental lab where they took impressions for the dentures the VA will provide. The doctor there asked why I wasn’t going to the Ft. Worth clinic and I told her that it was because they had set it up for Dallas. She then called the Ft. Worth clinic and made arrangements to have the rest of my dental appointments done there. Score one for the VA saving us gas and time by moving it 30 some miles closer.

   Next was the GI lab to get the PEG tube removed. I had done some research on the web about this and I was more than a little nervous about this, and as I was about to see, for good reason. The doctor there said she was going to yank it out, that it would hurt, but only for a little bit. #%&@ Man was she ever right about that one. It felt like I had been hit in the stomach with one of those sling shots that you draw back to arms length to shoot. The pain only lasted several minutes, but it was intense. This thing had a mushroom looking thing on the end that was in my stomach. The doctor said that the stomach should seal itself in about 8 hours or so, and the hole in my abdomen would heal in several days and to stay out of soaking bathes until then.

   Then we were off to the ENT clinic for a routine checkup. Everything was fine there and soon I should be able to schedule these appointments a couple of months apart. We were in and out of there in about 15 minutes, another record.

   The greatest thing about today was that since the weather was expected to be bad this morning, traffic was a bit lighter than normal and there weren’t as many people clogging the halls to push your way through. In all, we drove 75 miles, made it through three appointments, drove back 75 miles, and made it back home by 4:30. That’s why I thought it should be a record.

   Also worth mentioning, everyone, and I mean everyone at the VA today was extremely nice and very helpful. While this isn’t a record by any means, it certainly deserves mentioning. I don’t know if it was the lighter patient load, ( although it was only down by a third or so ) or if there was just something in the air, but all in all it was a very good day there.

   Later that evening

I waited as long as I thought was necessary, (actually my stomach was growling) and I had my usual lunch of ramen noodles with an egg cooked in and some sausage with cheese. Thankfully there were no repercussions with the stomach. Normally I would have had some ice cream a little later, but I didn’t want to push it. Tomorrow will be another matter.

   3-2

   As you can see, several tomorrows have come and gone. My scar looks more like a bullet hole and I'm eating better than ever.

   If I can revive one of the laptops I have I'll try to get something more out before Teresa's surgery at the end of the month. I know my audience is limited, but I can honestly say I appreciate every one of you. Thanks for all of your prayers and don't be strangers.