If wishes were horses

My last post got me to thinking ( heaven forbid ) about wishes and dreams. My dreams have never been huge. I want to build my own house. I have had to give that dream over to just being the GC on my own construction site. But then again I've had to give over a lot of things here of late. I was half way through my first house when the now ex wife ran off with the building fund and another guy. I finally got it back several years later because she never paid the taxes or dues. I'm not quite finished with the “Little House” on the north forty. That has been a dream of mine since we first started talking about it. It's 24' x24' two story, 1 ½ bath open concept house. Kitchen, pantry, closets, ½ bath, and water heater closet complete the first floor with steps going to the second floor in one corner. On the second floor directly above the ½ bath below is a full bath. Next to that is a door to steps and a landing. And other than that it's just open. It's funny how big it looked when we laid it out in string, and then after the first week when we had the floor completed. Then we started putting walls up and all of a sudden it wasn't so big anymore. It regained the feel for a bit when we laid the second floor before we stood any walls there. You could look out up there, one floor up and look around and see a good ways out. At any rate it's way past dried in and we just lack finishing insulation, drywall, a few electrical runs for ceiling fans and such and paint inside and out. Here is a link to the building of the little house : https://www.flickr.com/photos/90376472@N06 if you're interested. Then when we sell the Granbury place hopefully we will come away with some seed money to build the main house which will be around 2400 sq. ft. See I told you my dreams aren't something out of touch with reality. Of course I also want about a 2400 sq. ft. shop with woodworking stuff on one side or one end and mechanical stuff on the other. There is always something to work on mechanically around there and the woodworking is simply for the fun of it. I want to build furniture. I have several designs that no one else has and I think they would sell if I had some to display and to take pictures of to put on the internet.

Other things I dream of are fairly predictable. A boat, 34-36' long, 9 to 9 ½ beam, single engine, twin screw, able to sleep 4 comfortably and wired for hotel load. And an eager buyer for the Granbury house that's excited to own it.

There is another dream I have. I believe it's one that almost every parent might have is that your children grow and move on in the world and if they don't take the world by storm then that they're happy, healthy and comfortable. I recently had to read the riot act to my youngest to move his tail off of center on something. It pained me more to have to raise hell with him because I should be past that in my life right now. I see parents all around us that still have their children living with them in their late 30's. I suppose every generation of parents have these types of thoughts.

My personal thermostat has gone haywire again. I went through several months of it about the time that I found out about the cancer. I actually thought it was the remnants of a bad cold I got while I was in Alaska. We got a hotel while we were there with the reason being in no small part to how sick I was. My temperature was way up and the only time I felt warm was when I was in the tub with hot water running almost all of the time. For most of the next week I was in cold weather and never really felt warm for very long. This was also the time that the cancer was starting to grow. The thermostat thing might be related, I don't know. What I do know is people look at you a little funny when it's 80 degrees out and you have a sweater on or when it's 60 out and you're sweating. And it's just mildly bothersome but I just never really know what to dress for. It had left me alone for a month and a half so I thought I was over it. I guess it was just on vacation.

Another thing that's going on is my nose runs an awful lot. I always have to carry a tissue or something. And if I blow my nose, very little comes out. It's just cold and it runs. Not a lot, just enough to be slightly embarrassing and a drag. And again I never know when it will happen. It's just as likely at 80 as it is at 50.

Sun night

Back at camp. We got in late due to rain. We wanted to load our stuff without the benefit of extra moisture. Keeping your laundry, computers, paperwork, and bread and so forth relatively dry seems to outweigh the need to get back. I actually got to drive tonight. OK, it's because it was dark and rainy and she has night blindness. Guess how long that took to find out ? About 3 years. Actually it was easier on both of us since we both would have been on pins and needles for the whole trip. Thankfully no one did anything extremely stupid tonight and nothing took me off guard. I was going to try to post tonight, but the rain has the signal soaked up and I don't feel like tromping through the rain and mud to get to the office area where I can get a good signal. I have chemo tomorrow and I'm getting rested up. This next week will tell me if I am going to get a PIC line. About the 3^rd needle will be my clue. The last bag of saline bruised my arm. That was a week ago and it's still there.

Mon

Got to VA early to get labs done so as to be ready for chemo. My number was 749 and they were on 728. Better I thought until the lab got backed up and they quit taking numbers for about 20 minutes. By the time I got through it was time to go to radiation. Went there and came back, waited an hour, went to chemo and the PA started talking about changing my chemo because my creatinine level was too high. I'm thinking yea, the other stuff she was talking about had some drawbacks, but nowhere near what cisplatin has. Then the powers that be ( her Dr. bosses ) decided that we would carry on with the current regimen but at a slightly lowered level. Then they decided that today I would be starting too late so they rescheduled for tomorrow.

  Well I'm gonna send this one off to the ether. I'm sure I will come up with something for later. Judy, hang in there. I'm letting that one boil for a bit to make sure I get it right.